The princess in the tower

My favourite thing is in absolute Travelling, and in the meantime it's the thing I do the less.
That's because I have very apprehensive parents and a too tender heart.
That's true, I'm sufficiently old to make my own way and I'm trying to do it. But I don't want to hurt them.
Last year some close friends of mine lost their mother because of a terrible desease, I was almost never at home due to my univesity and I realized that living every minute with my parents it's a treasure that many people can envy me.
Sure, I want my indipendence, I'd go away tomorrow if I had the opportunity, I suffer because I can't do whatever I want, neither staying away from home for two or more days for a trip. At the moment other countries seems to me reachable as other planets...
But I always hope they will understand my needs and they'll sacrify a bit of their tranquillity and let me go away.
The greater problem is that I don't know Why they married. I've always seen marriage as a trap, I've always known that my parents were still together only to grant me a classical family. My father always scold my mother for stupid things, sometimes threatening her. We maybe always knew that he'd never beat her, but everytime he menaced I wondered why she continued to stay at home.
Nobody knows deeply my family, neither me. Both of them always hid me past things and when I find out one of it I'm astonished...
And despite that I can't imagine anybody able to understand and making, slowly, my father reason out like my mum does.
He's not a beast like you can think after this description: it's a kind, intellectual man, he loves poetry and nobody will write me such wonderful poems; he loves arts in general, quite places, humbless and simplicity; he's a mathematic and he's interessed to science, so he must have also a good logic mind. But in some things he's completely blind and there's no way to let him understand. When he makes an own opinion about someone it's Impossible to change it.
And his bad opinion are now spreaded between some people of our family and of my friends. When you want to do something against his will, you can't ever and ever persuade him that his a good thing. Even my grandma (his mother) said that you must not say him the true, to do something you want.
My mother could be seen as a Lamb. She's one of the most correct and mild person I know, but she's so naive, and she often confesses some thought that my father doesn't like, she can't defend herself because she has not the cold and calculating mind of my father.
And me... I'm all their joy and their delight.
My father let me feel like a princess, every wish is granted for me, I'm a pearl, a little precious thing to preserve, and I can't feel down. Unless I want to leave home. (Of course, I go out with friends, without came home too late, I can go shopping and things like that).
The sad thing is that my only wish is to leave home.
And I can't go away, because when I do something bad, my father still treat me like a princess, but he let all his anger off against my mother.
I never ran away from home, like many teenagers do, because when I was little I didn't feel the necessity of doing it, I thought I was sufficiently happy here. I found a new world with Tea, and in the same period we (my parents and I) travelled through Italy for the first time... My father was terrified by incidents -and is still terrified by planes- and we never travelled before then. They neither let me go with school on trips, so I didn't know what I was loosing... when I was older I felt not so witless to run away, it seemed to me stupid.
From that moment I tried to let my parents accustom gradually to the idea of letting me go away.
I choosed an university I dind't like very much, only to stay out a lot of time and to use public transports (they were never ready to let me study in another region, so I choosed the farrest place reachable in a day). This choice quite destroyed me, but now I've got my degree and they are ready to let me go away for the specialization, in september -at least I hope it!-
In the meanwhile I'm searching for a job, but it must be linked to my degree, and I must say that's for having working experiences, not for money or indipendence, because if I say it, my father will understand that I make it for leaving them.
I feel I deserve to make a little trip (I never asked them anything, I never let them worry at night because I hate discos, I spend very few money and I help them at home) but at home there's no tranquillity. This means that a little sparkle could let my father explode against my mother.
I still think he's a kind of genius, and I think that in a genius can easily live a bit of madness, so I can't exclude that, if he's too angry, he could really commit something terrible toward my mother.
I am a peace maker between them. When I'm at home I bring quiet, when I hear my father angry I go there and, instead of scolding my mother, he goes out: when he comes back he's quiet and nearly happy. That's because I can rarely travel alone.
There are just few occasions to profit by: I must seize the day and go travelling when I feel my parents relaxed, and it happens only with a rare astral alignment!